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A Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant Remix Of The “Safety Instructions”

www.nydailynews.com

I’m petrified of flying. But if I had this flight attendant on my flight, my nerves would be at ease.

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Flight passengers, known generally to ignore the safety spiel given by flight attendants, are drawn in by the hilarious flight attendant on this Southwest flight.

Here’s one way to ease the stress of a cramped coach cabin.

A hilarious Southwest Airlines flight attendant turned her job into a one-woman stand-up routine as she gave safety instructions at the start of a short flight en route to Salt Lake City, Utah.

The improvising comedienne had the entire plane rolling with laughter as she made the mundane magical.

With the help of her three colleagues, described by the attendant as “my ex-husband, my new boyfriend and my divorce attorney,” the blond wisecracker took the plane’s passengers through the aircraft’s safety features.

“Position your seat belt tight and low across your hips, just like my grandmother wears her support bra,” the airline employee said to peals of laughter.

She described the portable flotation devices – used in the case of an emergency landing – as a “teeny, weeny, yellow Southwest bikini” to be deployed in the “unlikely event the pilot lands us near a hot tub.”

As the attendant kept sneaking in one-liners to the normally staid presentation, more and more passengers started paying attention and belting out guffaws as the humorous monologue continued.

“As you know it’s a no-smoking, no-whining, no-complaining flight,” she continued. “It’s a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘you are such a good looking flight attendant’ flight.”
She even poked fun at the increasing expense associated with flying, warning passengers that “to activate the flow of oxygen (in the masks) simply insert 75 cents for the first minute.” Marty SWA flight attendant via YouTube The witty attendant jokes that passengers will need to pay 75 cents for the first minute of oxygen in the event that cabin pressure drops while at 35,000 feet.

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