1. “Why are you even a Heat fan?”
Because I am. Why are you… not?
2. “You’re just a winner picker.”
No, my team just wins a lot. I’m sorry if that offends you.
3. When did you join the bandwagon?
Stop right there — I don’t have to detail the reasoning behind my allegiances to you.
4. “You were a Heat fan before LeBron went there? Prove it.”
Again, why you think I have to prove anything to you is beyond me.
5. “The only reason you’re good is because you bought your team.”
I mean, that’s not the only reason.
6. “And you bought all of your championships, too.”
If that’s the case, then so did every other team that’s ever won an NBA Championship.
7. “LeBron’s the biggest flopper in the league.”
Yeah, because LeBron James is the only basketball player who exaggerates on the court.