I have been dating for about 7 months now. While I do love being single and dating, it would be disingenuous to say that I love it all of the time.
Obviously there are ups and downs to being young and single. But one thing is for sure, this has definitely been a time for observation and learning. YAY!
I have read many articles, a couple of books, and exhausted a couple of friends for advice on certain situations.There is something in me that wants to win. That is my sub-conscious talking, because when I say win, I have NO idea what I’m even talking about. I just want to win! I want to be on top, in control, always. I want to have the upper-hand with the guy that I like. It is humbling to realize that won’t always be the case. Maybe I operate too much via ego. Maybe I’m just a 27 year-old female living in Miami trying to make it and have a little fun (and by fun I’m not talking sex, I mean like, have fun. I like fun!)
I realized I may have been going a little guy crazy when my Mom had posted an article that I think everyone knew was directed toward me, talking about dishonest dating. I love subliminal messages! In my time of being single, I think I have really liked about, let’s see, 4 guys?… Where I thought, “MAN, HE’S COOL.” Then next week be like no… THIS GUY’S REALLY COOL. Proximity was usually not in my favor in these situations, but I also had a consumer mentality when it came to men.
I was riding in the car with my friend’s brother. He was in town for his sister’s wedding. While driving through South Beach he said, “It must be tough dating in Miami, there are so many people here.” They are from Memphis, where people might be a little warmer. Southern hospitality!
“It’s not so much that there are so many people, or good looking people, but that people can be kind of shallow. Even though there are so many people, it can still be kind of lonely. You can’t really trust too many people here. Plus, a lot of transient people and then there’s a lot of people who just want to party.”
Now that could totally be just a personal observation, but I find that some other people feel the same way. When dating I find that you have to put walls up. You have to protect yourself- that could be anywhere though.
The idea of “playing games” has been brought up a lot.
Do you play games? Do you not play games?
Be upfront? Don’t be upfront…Text. Don’t text… No wait, do text. Wait 3 hours! Did he wait 3 hours? Cause if he did, then I’m going to wait four! Take that.
Care less so they care more!
Wait, this was supposed to be fun right? *Checks phone for text*
Elite Daily posted an article, “15 Ways We Can Put An End To The Dishonest Culture We’ve Created”… the one my Mom had posted, subliminally. (Two points for you Mom!)
I think there are some great things to take away from what Elite Daily is saying. Most of us play the game, whether it’s because we don’t want to get hurt, or just want to “win” in the game of love.
But that is just the point. Love is not a game.
Be upfront. Be honest. Release ego. Don’t give it away too soon. (If you’re trying to have a relationship…)
Sometimes we are so scared to be open and honest for fear of rejection or thinking that it might “lower” our value as a potential love interest. But do you want love or to win in the game? They are two different things.
There is nothing wrong in knowing what you want. You want a relationship? Great! You want a hook-up buddy? Cool! You want the purple Teletubby to hug you at night and lull you to sleep? All good.
Whatever you’re into, accept that. Embrace it. Love it!
I think I need to accept the fact that I am a
hopeless romantic at heart and stop being a dishonest dater.
Read on for the 15 Ways to End Dishonest Dating. Good luck people!